I'm not embellishing any of this in an affort to make you go see it :
1) The soft core kiddie porn,1985 flashback opening "spin the bottle scene" with 12 yr old looking kids talking about fucking each other which we later find out were actually 10!.
2) The tender beach scene where Dane Cook's girlfriend rips off her shirt, shakes her breasts in his face, drops to her knees and starts blowing him, then says "I love you" with his dick in her mouth and is then irate when he isn't emotionally available enough to say it back...as her erect nipples hug the camera lens.
3) Dane Cook as a Dentist who only wears hip t-shirts and jeans and is conflicted about sleeping with the hot woman in his convertible, in front of his condo, but happily consents to it when he discovers they're using him, until he gets a call from Jessica Alba and all of a sudden has a change of heart.
4) His obese Black secretary who calls him "Dr. Charley! Dr. Charley!"
5) Same secretary who shows up in his apartment after finding out the curse, in garters and corset and stradles him on his dining table, begging him to sleep with her saying "just close your eyes and pretend that I'm someone...beautiful" to which replies, grabbing her face tenderly "No. I'll pretend it's you" and then promptly fucks her.
6) Dane decides to test the curse by asking out the fattest woman he can find, who's covered in zits and lounging in a bikini by the pool; her farting when he says hello; her eating three lobsters with roe running down her chin as he dry heaves talking to her; his dry heaving as she rolls on top of him naked.
7) His plastic surgeon girlfriend-less, fat best friend who Dane finds jerking off into a microwave heated grapefuit, then pulling a tiny soap brush out of his ass and then sniffing his fingers as a button to the scene!
8) The three breasted woman his friend finds at the end of the movie who falls for him because he "appreciates" her.
9) The penguin at Jessica Alba's job ( she's an adorable pet wrangler at a zoo ) who shits and then a few seconds later eats it. ( obviously the writer's moment of metaphorical summation )
10) The constant mugging and indicating of Dane Cook and the spiking of his hair as a major character choice.
11) The extremely harsh lighting that makes everything look like it's taking place during the daytime.
12) The outtakes where Dane Cook has cunnilingus and then analingus with a stuffed penguin.
13) The Goth girl who cursed him, now a housewife years later, who lets Dane inside her house only after he shows her and her young dauther his penis on the front lawn , then sends said daughter out of the living room when they're conversation gets more adult.
14) The total and complete disregard for any kind of continuity, quality or story.
15) The ad campaign that doesn't feature the basic premise and omits all of the credits from it's posters.
16) The shower I had to take after viewing.
I encourage everyone to see this fine film so that we may discuss.
